Posted on

Bisexual: Fad or Lifestyle


Although we are seeing an influx in ladies claiming to be bisexual, there are still plenty of people out there who don’t believe in bisexuality. It is true that bisexuality has become a fad, that can’t be denied. Plenty of ladies get a few drinks and now their best friend looks sexy and woops!!! They’re making out on a dance floor. Now, as a lady who loves ladies, I don’t mind watching. I don’t mind the bi-curious ladies out there at all.  If it makes you happy, by all means. I’ll grab the popcorn, a seat and enjoy the show. After all, that’s all it is. You’re not going to begin dating her. You’re not going to develop a relationship with her. You’re not going to fall in love with her. You’re just going to make out when you’re drunk. And if you’re really intoxicated, you might even go all the way. But that’s all. There will be no real connection or commitment. Just fun.

I can’t speak for every lesbian or bisexual women and say that bi-curious females are accepted by us all. I can only speak for myself. The drunk best friends putting on a show in the club do NOT reflect me.  I just happen to know a lot of gold star lesbians who are disturbed by this and other bisexual women. They tend to feel like they make a mockery of this lifestyle. They feel that it’s a game. Meanwhile, there are lesbians and bisexual women who are fighting to be taken seriously. A lot of people don’t believe that there are lesbians who have NEVER had sex with men, but that’s another post for another time.

There is nothing more irritating and pathetic than a man trying to convince me that I’m not bisexual. Who are you to tell me? The reality is, you just have a difficult time accepting the fact that I wouldn’t sleep with you with a rented vagina, but your sister? Oh, she could get seven days a week and twice on Sunday.

I’m curious as to why it’s so hard to believe that a woman could genuinely enjoy both men and women? Why must it be considered being confused? There isn’t any confusion about it. I am attracted to both men and women. I have been in relationships with both men and women. I have been in love with both men and women. Shit, I’ve been engaged to both a man and woman. No confusion. Sure, I’m more attracted to females. That doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian. I couldn’t lie to myself and say, “Nope, penis does not do it for me.” I couldn’t. I’ve learned to be honest with myself. It’s not about what other people think. I love the smell, the feel, and the taste of a woman. And I love the smell, the feel, and the strength of a man. I love performing oral sex on a woman just as much as I enjoy performing oral sex on a man. No confusion. I don’t suck dick and then afterward feel some sort of internal conflict. I don’t give a lady oral sex until she climaxes and then cower in a corner cursing God for this confusion. I am bisexual. I’m not confused. I’m not experimenting.

I actually didn’t have a phase of experimentation. I recall being as young as 8 and being attracted to the older girls in the neighborhood. I never felt ashamed or embarrassed. I didn’t go around grabbing breasts and smacking asses, either. I shared my ‘secret’ with my closest friends, and that was that. I had my first girlfriend by 15, second by 17. It was with the second that I had my first sexual encounter. It was EVERYTHING I imagined. I wasn’t one bit nervous or hesitant. I couldn’t wait until I got her clothes off and saw her body. I actually had to consciously calm myself down because I was so excited. I had absolutely no hesitation about going down on her. I wanted to. I needed to. And i did. It was amazing. I loved the way she gasped when my tongue first touched her. I loved the way she rotated her hips to find her own rhythm. I loved the way she smelled and the way she tasted. I loved feeling her tightness and warmth around my index finger. I was her first (female sexual partner). She was mine. You wouldn’t know by watching me though. I can honestly close my eyes and remember everything about those two hours. Two hours??!! Yes! Oh, the joys of sex with females. It’s not over as soon as someone reaches orgasm.

I never truly questioned my sexuality. I never probed deeper. I accepted myself from the beginning. And I acknowledged my sexual preferences and left it at that. I never had a coming out process, because I never actually hid my sexuality. You don’t have to broadcast your sexuality to be “out”. I’ve also never claimed to be straight or gay. I don’t want represent something that I am not. I don’t want to take away from the lesbian experience.  I support it 110%. I just didn’t face many struggles that a lot have.

I also don’t want to be mistaken as straight. So sir, when I say I’m not interested- I’m NOT interested. When you discover that I am also attracted to women that does NOT mean  I want to have a threesome with you or have sex with a woman in front of you. When you discover that I am also attracted to women do NOT tell me that I’m confused. Do NOT tell me that I just haven’t had the right dick. I’ve had my share of dick and some of it has been mind-blowing. But that doesn’t take away my desire to be with a women. It doesn’t take away my attraction of women. It doesn’t make up for the taste, smell and feel of a women. Never can. For me, the two sexual experiences can not be compared.

I’m not confused. I’m bisexual. There’s a difference.

8 responses to “Bisexual: Fad or Lifestyle

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Bisexual: Fad or Lifestyle « My Adventures with Her --

  2. First of all I do have my OPINIONS on this but I cant claim my views to be valid because I myself have never experienced any feelings of bi-sexuality. I also dont have any close friends that are gay or bi-sexual so I’m not close to that world at all. So I will never truly understand it. I do THINK that it does stand under the realms of confusion and my opinion comes from my religious beliefs. God created Man & then he created woman FOR man so I believe that is the true intent our purpose, Man to be with woman & woman to be with man..EVEN our anatomy is build to be with the opposite sex. I think gay & bi-sexuality comes from being exposed to certain things & not internally interpreting them properly or knowing how to deal with or except what they were exposed to. Nowadays I do think that many people are just playing around experimenting with that lifestyle just because it is a lil more accepted today than it used to be. I dont want to try to go too deep into this because like I previously said I dont know much about the world of homosexuality at all. I try my best not to judge those that are gay or bi-sexual & I dont treat them any different than I would do anyone else I just dont choose that lifestyle for myself.

  3. I really enjoyed this blog entry. My favorite statements were “I never had a coming out process, because I never actually hid my sexuality. You don’t have to broadcast your sexuality to be ‘out’. ” Nobody has to ‘come out’ straight and in the words of Wanda Sykes, she didn’t have to come out black so why would she come out as not heterosexual. I find it odd that everybody feels comfortable judging what they feel love is and how it is supposed to be manifested. How you feel it, is how you express it…….period. Love you girl and again, GREAT information.


  4. Ms ByePoleHer ⋅

    Thanks Sha.

    I appreciate your honesty, a lot of people are afraid to comment on such a topic because they don’t want to step on toes. I can respect and understand where your sentiments stem from. But keep in mind, not every person believes in the same religion or ideas about men and women. So keeping that in mind, that doesn’t tend to dictate love, relations and sexuality.

    Consider yourself knowing someone in the lifestyle- I didn’t choose this, nor was I exposed to this at a young age. My first crush was around 6 years old, camp counselor named Adrian. I didn’t know what a gay, straight or bisexual was. But I knew she was pretty, I liked being around her, it was a kiddy-crush. I was enamored. I wasn’t exposed to a bunch of gay people & situations as a child. And I don’t hold the same beliefs in regards to God and such. Trust me, there is no confusion. As sure as you are that you’re attracted to women, I’m as sure if not more that I’m attracted to men & women. For different reasons and hasn’t changed, not once. I’ve tried to supress either side, and I wasn’t happy. I love both, and loving both is being true to me.

  5. I love your courage and candor about this of the moment issue! I can’t help noticing the trend all around me of women who call themselves “Bi-For-Fun.” Bisexual, Bi-For-Fun, or Lesbian, whatever the case may be, I am all for freedom of expression. Thanks for sharing your views in this exceptionally well-written article!

  6. Trab59 ⋅

    Bi-sexual women or women dont bother me anymore. In fact they never really bothered me at all. I do feel like it’s the new trend tho. In college there were a few girls who would claim to be bi just because it sounded cool, but would later come out of that “phase” and seek men to settle down with. One of the reasons why i feel like it’s a trend because bi-sexuality is all over the airwaves and television screens. So i feel like that’s a major part in the shift in numbers of the bi-curious lifestyle.

    My only concern tho is the suicide rate of bi or homosexuals. A lot of people who are living that lifestyle are taking their own lives due to the internal battle they have within themselves. Homosexuality or being bi-curious is almost normal in todays society….so im trying to get a better understanding as to why some people are taking their own life due to their chosen life style…

  7. Mike ⋅

    Now everything you said can be true but wat I mentioned on Twitter is why some chicks claim it because of what people say “oh u a hoe” this and that , like now you wanna turn gay and your best excuse is niggas ain’t shit ? Come on now , you could’ve at least said I always been curious I would believe that rather then and bullshit excuse , now I respect gays , lesbians , bi curious all of that it doesn’t matter what your preference is to me but be proud of that shit don’t say shit cause you think it sound good for the moment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s