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An Adventure as Her: That Old Thing

I haven’t written like this in a long time, and you’re my inspiration. I’ve done everything that I can think of to get you off of my mind. Nothing seems to work. My body is betraying my common sense. You’re off limits. So, why is it that I seem to be craving you like I am?I can still remember how your lips feel. I can still feel your sweaty body pressed against mine. I can still feel your hands grabbing my body. I can still feel your tongue between my legs. I am with him and I love him, but my body misses you. I miss you. I want to feel you again. I want to smell you again. I want to taste you again.

We keep doing this dance, stepping carefully so as to not step on the spots where our true feelings have spilled. We speak in metaphor avoiding what we really want to say. I want you, again.

I know we’re both attached but can’t we just pretend for one night that we belong to each other? Can’t we pretend that my body is yours and yours is mine? Don’t you know that no one has ever touched me the way that you have? Don’t you know that no one has made me sing the way that you have? Don’t you?

So many nights I lay here thinking about our time together. So many nights I lay here with my fingers between my legs remembering the last time that you touched me. So many nights I wish that my legs were intertwined with yours, your breath against my neck and my nose in your hair.

I miss those nights of me sneaking in the night seeking what I’ve been missing.

I miss those nights in the tub with you washing my body, kissing my neck, making me speak my truth through moans.

I miss those nights of me running to you because you knew what I wanted and needed if I didn’t. I miss those nights of  you soothing my soul through your strokes and kisses.

I know better. I know you’re with her. I know I’m with him. My body doesn’t care. My warmth doesn’t care. I crave you.

Somethings don’t have to make sense and you between my thighs is one of them. Fuck the questions and over analyzing. Slide into me and show me what I’ve been missing and running away from. Remind me why this happened in the first place!

I lay back and exhale. You’re not here. I’m not there. I just have these memories of what was and I want it again. We know better. We’re attached. Why does what’s wrong feel so right?

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