Love is a Losing Game

I was just living my life. You blindsided me with your beauty and your mind. I didn’t see you coming. I am in a place where I can truly say I’m happy but you showed me that I didn’t realize that I was missing something. Though briefly, you added something to my life. Something to look forward to, something that broke the monotony of my everyday. Something that showed me that I was still capable of feeling. Something that showed me that I was still desirous, that I was still beautiful, that I still had it.You brought more laughter and smiles into my life. You touched parts of me, that I had been ignoring for years, without hands.  And just as quickly as you entered my life like a whirlwind, like sand you slipped through my fingers. Like a predator in the night, you’re gone. All I have left is evidence that you were once here, condensation of your breath on the window that’s my heart, a phantom imprint on the pillow that I laid for you, remnants of a scent that I imagined.
I feel like something is missing. It’s incredible to me that what would seem so minor in the eyes of others has made such a major impression on me. And I’m expected to just let it go? Just let you go? Just stand here and watch you walk away? I don’t want to. But I know it’s not about what I want, it’s about what’s best for us, for you. I still don’t want to. I want to be selfish and have you for myself. I want to be selfish and escape for days to your haven. I want to be selfish and inhale your scent, taste your kisses and rub your head until you fall asleep. But it’s wrong to be selfish, it’s wrong to want for me, for us, what will inevitably harm you.I don’t want to hurt you but I also don’t want to see you go.

For you I was a flame
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came
Love is a losing game

One I wish I never played
Oh what a mess we made
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game


About Last Night


Last night I touched a dream wide awake and it shook me to my core

Unexpected but unmatched in my memory, an indelible smile left on my visage

Last night felt like the night I’ve waited my entire life for

Knowing we needed to stop, but in my mind, we’ve gotten started…finish


Last night I tasted heaven and thanked God for every ounce of your being

Then I prayed for your return with an unbound heart

Last night, you were the only star worth seeing

Even if the moon was just right or the heavens decided to part


Last night I was hardened by the softness of your skin

But my hardness dulled by your softness within

Last night is something I want to do every now and again

You know, like right now and again and again and again


Last night I wished forever and saw it in your eyes

Felt it in your kiss and in your heart saw the reason

Last night I wanted to spend a lifetime between your thighs

Because no one dreams of making it to heaven and leaving 


Last night my dream left me with a warning

And thinking about the wrongs that feel so right

Last night had me writing poetry at 5:30 in the morning

About last night…

A Miscalculated Arrangement

A 5 hour drive
To a 4 mile home
A 3 day wait
And the 2 of us
Are finding it hard to meet
At least 1 time
As planned 15 days ago

There has to be a formula
That someone can form for us
To increase the value
Of our present state’s declining view
All of the rearrangements of schedules
And the “I can’t wait to see yous”
Seem to be going to waste
On premises of good use

I mean
In a 2 mile radius
Why should time have to
Wait for us
We’ve waited long enough
Plus a little more
To arrive at this point
We’re on 2 different planes
Unable to think straight
I’m feeling like the world’s on our shoulders
But wait…..

Accidents happen
In fractions of seconds
Some say sh*t happens
I say
Life happens
What will be
Will be
No matter what happens

I’m feeling pretty vexed
Pretty concave…..yes
But our slopes still slip
Towards the same vertex…..blessed

I think
We’re just going about this problem wrong
Relying on shortcuts
When in reality
The answer to our division is…..
Is long

Geometrically speaking
Things’ll shape up
In due time
Our hearts’ll come together
The stars’ll align
And with the assistance of each other’s compliments
We’ll be all right


I, too, have a secret vixen

one that I’m currently missing

deep desire to be kissing

my secret vixen lays in my bed

nuzzles her head

between my


my secret vixen deeply inhales my scent

and is linked to my memories

through smile laughter and realizing how deep she’s into me

and how deep I’m into her

and how I melt when I enter her

feeling her extremities reach inside

using her manos to toca mi soul

y her smile es como el sol

and nada even matters

except the flickering of the candles and the serenading
of Lauryn Hill being drowned out by the song she sings to me

as I touch her on the inside

make her love come down and find me in the outhouse

she is my beloved

and she is beloved

by me

inside me

I see

her face reflecting the feeling I give her when I give it to her


don’t stop

she screams as a whisper

and I savor her taste so I can remember it when I miss her

like how

simple things like tasting lemonade can remind me of you

                                                  how the taste of these things tie me to you

and how the flavor jarring my memory, reminding me of our chemistry

and how our elements react..and the bonds we made…
takes me back to the moments when my smile is shining through my eyes

and lighting up your face with my gaze

how when I speak in the lexicon of oohs and ahhs my tongue burrows

through your maze

and I’m hypnotized by the sound of your respiratory

you grabbing my hair and pushing my face is a pleasant awakening out of my daze

in the plushness of your love I would spend days

exploring and discovering new ways to please you

and tease you

but never leave you

unsatisfied, yet always wanting more

I want to perfect my technique to the point that you reach for my


but it ain’t really there

just the sensation lingering

from the last time I was down there

so sick

you still feel weak

by just the retrospect

of how wet you get

from just a peck

I don’t even speak French

but when I say bonjour and comment-allez vous

esta lloviendo between your thighs

flowing like when tears leave your eyes

just like then, I’m there to quickly catch them

taste them

and allow you to cry into me

breathe life into me

and dame more desire to love you

up and down

in and out

upside down…

por que yo se que te gusta

you see I, too, have a secret vixen

with legs for days, that feel like weeks and when I kiss them from

hip to toe, I get lost in her months..

with lips like forever and when mine meet with hers we create beyond


with eyes like.. hay palabras describirlos…

you see I, too, have a vixen.